The Allure of Duality

At my job I am in this leadership program. Great program. It is supposedly extremely selective, only accepting the very finest up-and-coming leaders my company has to offer. There are roughly 3,000 employees at my site. 24 participants in the program. 3 of us are Black. But this is just the prologue. We’ll come back to that…

For the majority of my life I have been in predominantly White situations. “What do you mean… you grew up in America like the rest of us?” Not quite. Well yes, but not quite what I’m getting at. My mother made the decision when I was very young to send me to private schools. Before I continue, note: I am not knocking public schools. I’m just speaking to my experience. So what this meant is that during my formative years I was always going to be the minority. I saw my family. Loved them and love them still. I’m proud of each one of them, and hopefully they’re proud of me. They provided me with a strong foundation in preparation for this life. But I saw the people I went to school with 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and sometimes even on the weekend. Being a student, classmate and friend had just as much to do with my rearing as anything else. All boys high school, mostly White. There were maybe 10 Black people in my class. I was cool with maybe 6 of them. Ahhh the microcosm that is Gilman School. Needless to say culture shock was never a huge problem for me.

From Gilman to Boston College to the corporate world…all the same.

So what am I getting at? Small tidbits of information…a little glimpse into my childhood…a couple multisyllabic words…but it still…doesn’t…quite…mean...anything. What I’m getting at is this: I think understanding both “sides” of the experience is a benefit to being Black, or any minority for that matter. A lot of times people talk about “playing the game.” I don’t think it’s as important that we play the game as it is to know that their game is different from ours - Mike would say they’re playing with different toys. Being able to learn the other side, experience it for myself, understand it, live in it…valuable unto itself. Quick example: Shortly after the Colts won the Super Bowl, I was trying to explain to a White friend of mine why it’s significant that a Black coach won, and two Black coaches competed. After about 10 minutes I chalked it up as a loss, and figured she was just ignorant. Did I waste my time? Maybe. Should she know why? Of course. Would I do it again? Hell no…trying to convince her was like talking to a baboon’s ass. But I think this clearly demonstrates a very distinct point. White people are unaware of their own ignorance. Minorities are very aware of White people’s ignorance, and oddly enough it puts us at an advantage.

So back to this leadership program and my two sisters (the aforementioned Caucasoid would have referred to them as “sistaz”…true story). We all met today, and I kinda had a moment of clarity. I looked around the room and thought to myself that I might be one of the smartest people in the room. Not because I know about 402(g) deferral limits or the definition of a long straddle (don’t be nasty). It’s because there are some things I’ve experienced or will experience that most of those kids will never come close to. Some lessons I’ve learned they’ll live their whole lives without learning. Having spotted both games, I’m as valuable an asset to those people in that program and that company as they’ll ever know. I’m onto them, and I find solace in that.