I hate my doctor. Please refer to my earlier blog about eating healthy. This woman has now made me paranoid. She says I’m extremely healthy, but I need to eat 9 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. I told her she might see 4 or 5 tops out of me. No one eats like that. Then she tells me I have high blood pressure. That’s because this chick is stressing me out. If you had caught me before selling that foolishness about 9 fruits and vegetables BP is a lock to be quite low. Now…9 fruits and veggies…high blood pressure. I don’t have time for that. Pass the burger.
Oh, and the latest: I’m 6 pounds overweight. If anyone has ever seen me, you’d know that the words “over” and “weight” together should never be used to describe me. Now I look at myself in the mirror thinking “you fat fuck.” Ok not really but I could. And I actually lost weight since the last time I was there! So I had the potential of being 12 lbs overweight. Now I’m only 6 (phew). But what this does is it makes me think thrice about everything I eat. The Oreos I had earlier this afternoon…probably could’ve sat that one out. Mama Illardos pizza…I had two slices today, each of which may represent one less year I get to live. Fuck it. The way I see it, if my number is called in the middle of a meal, I’d much rather be eating a cheesesteak than a broccoli pop. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not going to subject my body to fat and grease and eat McDonald’s all the time…at least not in excess. Moderation is key here. But if I feel like a burger then guess what I’m going to eat…an f’ing burger. The doc can kiss my ass.
Speakeasy 2, Doctor 0.
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